For Fuck's Sake...

I was doing a little research for a writing project I'm working on and somehow came across Ana's Underground Grotto, a website that claims "anorexia is a lifestyle, not an illness or disorder". I'm ashamed to admit this but, I couldn't resist browsing around the site. This website features "Tips, Tricks, and Techniques" to help you avoid eating at all cost which include creating a "pro-ana" scrapbook, cleaning like an angry housewife on speed, and getting "off that lazy cow butt and take a walk or start working out" because "you still have pounds to lose don't you!" You can also browse pictures of other near-death-skinny people to help find your "thinspiration". Apparently, sickly-skinny has different looks, one of them being "hardcore bones". Now, try not to giggle, but there is also a "ritual" called "The Summoning of Anamadim" which should be performed "at 1:47 am upon the New Moon". Sounds crazy I know but this is the same website that claims "inner beauty is a joke". What am I saying? This website won the "Starving for Perfection Award for Excellence".

Despite what the creators of this website think, anorexia is a psychological disorder. Instead of promoting and glamorizing this illness, shouldn't they be seeking psychological help? No, of course not! Because being able to sharpen knives with your fucking rib cage is so attractive! My opinion may not matter much but I'm going to share just a few bits of advice to anyone who thinks that looking like a walking corpse is sexy.

1. Seek help...ASAP.
2. Stop glorifying a disease that is not only killing you but making you look repulsive.
3. For fuck's sake, eat something bitches! Food is good. It's not the devil. There is nothing wrong with having a little meat on your bones.

Don't get me wrong, I completely empathize with people who suffer from eating disorders and seek help. However, I feel nothing for idiots who praise the act of starving yourself. I wouldn't mind at all if you coughed, spit up a bone, and then choked on it.

Giddy With Anticipation

The future looks bright for me and my hobbies obsessions. Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix has been in theaters for some time now. However, I've yet to see it for one simple reason; I hate going to movie theaters. And since I've read the book and already know what happens, I don't see any point for me rush off to the theater when I can wait for it to be released on DVD and watch it in the comfortable and quiet environment of my own home where I won't have to worry about sitting in an unidentified puddle of slimy liquid or having to wade through three tons of spilled popcorn every time I move my feet. Rest assured, I will own that movie.

I'm also pretty damn excited about book seven, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, which will be released July 21, 2007. This is supposed to be the last book but I think J.K. Rowling is just as addicted to writing them as we are to reading them. I'm pretty sure she'll have a hard time not writing another one.

And finally, for the most anticipated event in my life, the October 16th release of Grand Theft Auto IV. I'm in terrible need of a good GTA fix. GTA LCS and GTA VCS were good games but they just didn't hit the spot like good ol' GTA San Andreas. I've been playing Scarface The World Is Yours but that doesn't even compare to GTA. 10/16/07 can't come soon enough! I can't f*cking wait for this game! I must have it. My collection just wouldn't be complete. Of course I'll have to come up with an extra $600 to buy a PS3 (f*ck a bunch of X Box). That might seem pretty steep but there is no price too high to feed my addiction and ultimately, my happiness. I mean, my games are my babies. I love them.

My babies. Oldest to youngest. GTA III, GTA Vice City, GTA San Andreas, GTA LCS, GTA VCS

He's A Very Freaky...Fuhrer

First of all, let me say that I love history. All of it. Any time, any place. I want to absorb it all like a sponge. One of my favorite subjects is WWII. So, naturally, I was overjoyed when, a few days ago, I came across Downfall, a movie about Hitler's final days, on the Sundance channel, which I also love dearly. It was a great movie. Both interesting and, as it turns out, factual with very little exaggeration or fictional content.

When I watch any movie that is "based on actual events", I always like to do a little research to see how much was true and how much was cinematic horseshit. So, I turned to Wikipedia, which I am highly addicted to by the way. As I was reading through article after article, I came across one titled "Hitler's Sexuality". I just couldn't resist.

The article claims that, according to a few people who knew him personally, Hitler was possibly homosexual or asexual. It even states that, " Hitler may have had unusual sexual fetishes, such as urolagnia (a sexual fetish in which participants derive sexual pleasure from urine and urination)". The 1943 report by the OSS (Office of Strategic Services) states that Hitler "derives sexual pleasure from having a woman squat over him while she urinates or defecates in his face". It is rumored that these acts were most likely performed by his niece/lover Geli Raubal.

Just imagine, if you will, the greatest and most hated criminal of all time enjoying a nice, warm, pee-pee shower. Better yet, imagine him receiving a chunky, feces facial. He was responsible for the deaths of millions of innocent people, that makes him sick. He enjoyed having someone shit or piss on his face, that's crossing the damn line.

Weekend Recap, Happy Birthday Ryan

Saturday - Ryan’s party. Pizza, chocolate cake (made by Brandon, decorated by yours truly), vanilla ice cream, our lovely family, and lots of presents (including loud things, messy things, artsy things and even a few cover-your-naked-ass things).

Sunday – Swimming at the lake pool. We drove three hours to my grandma’s lake property in hopes of swimming in the lake only to discover that there was “no swimming allowed due to a high number of deadly snakes”. So $#@!ing what? I wanna swim in a mother $#@!ing lake! Luckily, the “lake resort” had a clubhouse complete with a huge pool. I got to swim. The boys (Ryan and his cousin Isaiah) got to swim. We were happy. Afterward I attempted to catch fish with a rusty hook, a tangled piece of fishing line, and a portion of what used be a bright orange rubber fish bait thing. Didn’t work. Fish are stupid anyway. Who needs ‘em?

Btw, yesterday was Ryan’s 5th birthday. He’s getting older which means I’m getting older. Oh these aching bones...

More pictures!

Thanks: Tammy, Jovi, Stephanie Dawn, Sumomo, "Me", Pao

The Wonders of Nature: A Lesson in Humiliation...and Frog Pee

Our apartment complex is surrounded by woods so we always have a wide variety of different creatures wandering around our patio. We've seen 'possums, raccoons, skunks, and squirrels, all sniffing around hoping to find something interesting...or edible. Well, last night as I passed the sliding-glass door I caught a glimpse of something I hadn't seen on our patio before; a huge, and I mean huge, frog. Nothing spectacular but I knew Ryan would get a kick out of it. So I called Ryan to "come look at this" and ran outside to attempt a brief & harmless capture of the frog who would be the main character in my spur-of-the-moment nature lesson. Ryan chose to remain inside stating that "frogs give you huge warts". He watched from behind the glass. I picked up the frog gently and held it up to the glass so Ryan could get a good look. I had just begun to tell him "look, he wont hurt you" when the little bastard decided to spray me with his frog urine. This wasn't just a trickle of pee-pee either. This was like the wrath of god shooting out of his ass. Needless to say, and I regret this now, I jumped and tossed the poor frog about three feet. I was soaked from breast to crotch in frog piss. When I returned inside I was greeted by the insane laughter of both Ryan and Brandon. I said, "He pissed on me" to which Ryan replied, "He was just scared." Of course he was scared. Either that or he was seeking revenge for his four relatives whose post-mortem mutilations I took part in.

The experience obviously did not go as planned.