The Wonders of Nature: A Lesson in Humiliation...and Frog Pee

Our apartment complex is surrounded by woods so we always have a wide variety of different creatures wandering around our patio. We've seen 'possums, raccoons, skunks, and squirrels, all sniffing around hoping to find something interesting...or edible. Well, last night as I passed the sliding-glass door I caught a glimpse of something I hadn't seen on our patio before; a huge, and I mean huge, frog. Nothing spectacular but I knew Ryan would get a kick out of it. So I called Ryan to "come look at this" and ran outside to attempt a brief & harmless capture of the frog who would be the main character in my spur-of-the-moment nature lesson. Ryan chose to remain inside stating that "frogs give you huge warts". He watched from behind the glass. I picked up the frog gently and held it up to the glass so Ryan could get a good look. I had just begun to tell him "look, he wont hurt you" when the little bastard decided to spray me with his frog urine. This wasn't just a trickle of pee-pee either. This was like the wrath of god shooting out of his ass. Needless to say, and I regret this now, I jumped and tossed the poor frog about three feet. I was soaked from breast to crotch in frog piss. When I returned inside I was greeted by the insane laughter of both Ryan and Brandon. I said, "He pissed on me" to which Ryan replied, "He was just scared." Of course he was scared. Either that or he was seeking revenge for his four relatives whose post-mortem mutilations I took part in.

The experience obviously did not go as planned.